You don’t need a Sunday reset. You just need a nap.
Why I left the suitcases in the hallway & unsubscribed from the post-vacation reset.
It’s been a week since my family & I came home from our trip to Disney World.
Was it fun? Yes.
Did we all come back exhausted? Yes.
And I’ll be honest, there was a version of me not that far back that would’ve ignored it.
Would’ve pushed through. Would’ve spent my entire Sunday aggressively unpacking suitcases the second they hit the hallway floor. Would’ve run three back-to-back loads of laundry while simultaneously panic-ordering groceries on my phone so the kids had balanced lunches packed for school.
Would’ve chosen to completely drain whatever battery I had left just to get my whole household caught up, organized & reset—because if I don’t, who else will?
But what did that get me? Nothing more than a deeper sense of exhaustion with a healthy dose of overwhelm to top it off.
For years, I let myself buy into the belief that this is just “how life is” (whatever that means). For a while, I even let myself believe, “Well, maybe if I just get ahead of it before we go out of town, it’ll be easier to get back on track.”
Excuse me, what?
I see now this is the game: to convince us women that we are so capable that we can always do more. We can synthesize, optimize & organize to cram every waking moment with anything else that crops up in this whack-a-mole game of mom life.
And we’re so hard on ourselves when we “fall short.” When is enough ever enough? The answer is never. Because The Capable Mom can always do more. 👯♀️
But I’ve unsubscribed. This isn’t the life I came here to live. It isn’t remotely close to what I want to put my time, energy or heart toward.
Glad you’re here! 👯♀️
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So in the instance of our return from our recent trip, I chose to let life feel slow, a bit of a trudge uphill, like I was moving through mud for a few days.
I let my body feel tired as I adjusted to the time difference, rather than forcing myself to get up early. I let myself unpack suitcases over the course of a few days rather than a few hours. I let myself skip the grocery delivery the day we returned & took the time I needed to meal plan when I felt ready.
And more than anything, I let myself lead the way. I chose to spend my time on the things I was interested in because they felt good, nourishing & energizing to me.
I spent an hour browsing through a few cookbooks.
I taught myself how to make corn tortillas.
I read a few Substack posts on spring style (like this & this)
I took a nap one afternoon.
I chose a new route for my walk with the dog.
I researched how to revive my houseplants.
And in the process,
I didn’t abandon my responsibilities. I just chose to do them alongside what felt restorative to me.
I didn’t avoid catching up, I just spread it out so it felt more sustainable.
I didn’t act selfishly, I just supported my needs thoughtfully.
I didn’t fail to get back on track, I just prioritized an intuitive flow over an optimized one.
Family life has so many moving parts. And that life moves so fast. It’s understandable to default to the productivity standards Americans are so well-programmed to follow.
But these systems fail us. They cheat us of our human experience & trick us into believing they’re a noble cause. That’s how society has come to sustain itself, after all. If not for the very buy-in of mothers, these systems would surely begin to crumble. If not with this generation, surely with future ones.
But I’m here to say, my family is actually fine. Actually…better than fine. We had such a great first week back. It was low-stress, manageable, and even enjoyable.
Everything that truly needed to get done still got handled. The kids still had clean clothes for school & we managed to keep everyone fed just fine from whatever was already in the pantry. We all got to our school days, meetings, clubs & other commitments as planned without a hitch. Most importantly, everyone got what they needed—including me.
So whether you’re just wrapping up a family vacation or one is forthcoming, I hope you’ll save this post as your reminder that doing it differently is not only within the realm of possibility, but to your benefit when you choose it.
And that’s nothing to feel guilty about—ever.
Ok, talk soon…
Erin
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I’m Erin—a former teacher, wife & mom of two in Boulder, Colorado. And this is where I write about what it looks like to stop running my life the way I was told to & start trusting what I know about it instead.
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