Read-alouds for the exhausted parent
5 low-pressure ways to raise a reader, plus 40+ books to save you from decision fatigue & enjoy reading aloud with your child.
A quick note: If you’re a paid subscriber, I’ve dropped all the real-life details from my own struggles to get my kids to read at the bottom of this post—you’ll find short, informal behind-the-scenes pieces + exactly how I handle the school reading log pressure, pre-teen eye-rolls & our zero-effort reading loopholes after the PS of this post. 👯♀️
By 7:30 PM, my voice is tired, my patience is thin & the absolute last thing I usually want to do is put on three different character voices to read a chapter book aloud. The evening routine is a heavy lift for exhausted parents.
So when our kids get older and can finally read on their own, we happily pass the baton. We relent. We use those 20 minutes to finally go stare at a wall.
But I saw a post on Instagram earlier this week from Libby Pingpank that really grabbed my attention. She shared that in 2015, Scholastic reported that 40% of kids ages 6-11 wished their parents had kept reading aloud to them.
They don’t want a theatrical performance. They just want the connection.
The read-aloud drop-off (and why it matters)
As a former reading interventionist, I know just how powerful reading aloud to our kids can be. It makes all the difference in our kids’ attitudes toward books. When we read together, they associate reading with positive experiences—getting alone time with mom, being cuddled up together, and sharing a sense of playfulness. When they start to have those positive associations, their confidence skyrockets, their vocabulary grows, and their ability to maintain focus increases.
In digging through some of the research from Scholastic, I found that there is a marked drop in read-aloud habits around the time kids finish primary grades (where learning to read happens).
Paradoxically, by the time our kids enter intermediate grades and middle school, they are reading to learn—arguably one of the most important times for kids to share in reading with adults. When kids apply their skills to longer texts, they have to begin tracking plot arcs, character development, and themes. And honestly, this is when the stories actually become fun for us as parents, too.
The reality of the 8:00 PM exhaustion
But I also know that the consistent disparity between what we believe about reading aloud and how often we actually do it speaks volumes about the overwhelm we feel as parents.
With how busy our lives are, it’s hard to fit it in during the morning rush or in the afternoons between homework and soccer practice. I see how reading aloud quickly defaults to being one of the last things we earmark for the day—and by then, we’re spent. Layer in the reality that as our kids get older, it can feel like pulling teeth to get them to read with you. Sometimes the last thing you want is yet another thing you have to convince your pre-teen to do. So we let it go.
But for what it’s worth, from one mom to another, I really enjoy the time spent reading with my kids. We don’t always get to fit it in every night, but it’s such an integral part of our routine that we make time to ensure it happens. No screens, no distractions, no interruptions. And how often do we get to experience that these days?
Between the busyness of life and the quick dopamine hits from screen time, it’s hard to get kids to buy into the notion that reading is fun. (Honestly, I didn’t read for enjoyment myself until my 30s!)
5 low-pressure ways to read with your child when they’re reluctant
If you have a reluctant reader at home, here are the top 5 ways you can foster a love of reading without turning it into a power struggle:
Have patience: This very well may take years, even decades. This is a practice of encouragement and support, not a pressure cooker where we believe it’s now or never.
Create positive associations: Do what you can to make the environment enjoyable. Whenever we go to the library, it usually includes a trip to the ice cream shop next door. When it’s a wintry Saturday, we might be under a blanket with mugs of cocoa, book in hand.
Make reading a part of your conversations: I know in an ideal world you’re working through a book together from beginning to end. But maybe it’s just reading alongside one another to start. It could be asking your child to share what they’re reading at school, or randomly sharing a fun fact you read in a magazine.
Don’t underestimate magazines, picture books or graphic novels: Even as an 8th-grade educator, I used picture books in my classroom all the time. There’s something enjoyable about them. AND they don’t take a whole lot of time to read.
Find read-alikes: A lot of reading resistance comes from the decision fatigue of choosing the “right” book. Sometimes asking a librarian for recommendations or a stroll through the new-releases section for some window shopping can be helpful. Other times, I like to look online to see what other titles my kids’ favorite authors have written or if there are other books similar that might be a great option for them next.
My favorite read-aloud books—
If you want to start reading aloud again but staring at a library shelf or Amazon search bar takes too much cognitive energy, I’ve got you. Here are some of my favorite read-aloud’s by grade to take the decision fatigue completely off your plate:
Read Alouds for 1st/2nd Grade
Read Alouds for 3rd/4th
Read Alouds for 5th/6th
Harry Potter (I love the illustrated versions!)
Read Alouds for 7th/8th
Because my kids aren’t in these grades yet I haven’t read all of the titles, I’ve denoted any I haven’t read but are on my list to read with my middle schooler someday soon with an *asterisk
Dry*
As you click through the links, you’ll see most of these are actually series, which is one of my top ways to keep read-alouds going with my kids—it makes it so much easier to choose the next book when they already love the characters, plot, writing style, etc.!
Don’t see your favorites on the list?
If there are books you’ve loved reading with your elementary or middle-school aged kids would you please share?? I’ve opened up this note for recs here! 👇 I’d love to hear your suggestions & I know other moms would, too. 🥰
At the end of the day, as a former reading interventionist, I know all the statistics. I know exactly how much this matters for their development. But as a human mom, I also know that if you are looking at the clock at 8:00 PM and feeling the crushing weight of one more thing you are supposed to do, the absolute best thing you can do is lower the bar.
You do not have to put on a one-woman theatrical performance at bedtime to be a good parent. You do not have to read a perfectly curated, award-winning novel every single night. We have to stop letting the pressure to optimize our kids’ development completely ruin the actual time we have with them.
Sometimes reading aloud is just finding a quiet pocket of time, letting out a deep breath, and sharing a story. If your voice is fried, let an audiobook do the heavy lifting while you both just sit there. If everyone is cranky, close the book and try again tomorrow. Relieving yourself of the pressure to do it perfectly is a daily practice.
Talk soon,
Erin
PS—Paid subscribers, I dropped everything you need to know about what reading aloud actually looks like in our unoptimized house below! 👯♀️
And if you haven’t checked out the paid section yet, you can join anytime. This week I’m sharing exactly how I handle the school reading log pressure (without turning it into a nightly battle), how I get past the pre-teen eye-rolls without a power struggle & the zero-effort loopholes we use when I am completely touched-out and phoning it in.
There’s a free 7-day trial if you want to try it first. 🥰 You can tap below to try it out.
I know in the free section of this post I put on my former reading interventionist hat to talk about why we should read to our kids, but I thought it would also be helpful for you to hear my perspective as a mom, too. And the truth is, the gap between what I know is best practice & what I actually have the energy to do at 8:00 PM on a Tuesday is incredibly wide.
If you are currently staring down a school reading log, dealing with your pre-teen who refuses to read a book with you, or are just too exhausted & wanting to skip the bedtime story altogether, I’m here to share exactly how I lower the bar in those situations in my own house. Hopefully it helps you feel less alone & more supported along the way.
1. Managing the school reading log
The expectation that a tired family needs to sit down & strictly enforce a timed “30 minutes of reading” every single night is wild to me. It turns something that should be connecting into a high-pressure chore.
Here is my honest reality: I do not believe in strictly enforcing the nightly reading log. If a teacher’s expectation feels completely unreasonable for our current season of life, I let it go. I usually reach out to the teacher (who are almost always incredibly reasonable!) and ask to compromise on a weekly “signed” planner rather than a nightly one. That way, we can front-load our reading over the weekend when we actually have the time and space, and skip the Tuesday night battle entirely.
I also aggressively widen my definition of what “counts” as reading:
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